Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
