But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
