I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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