Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
