my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Randomize
