Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Randomize
