Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
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