About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I enjoy the company of your penis
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
