no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Randomize