I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
