apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Also, beer. Big fan.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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