Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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