Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Randomize
