i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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