so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize
