As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize