Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
