Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
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