If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
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