Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize