listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
