I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
