i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
Randomize
