His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
