We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
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