I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
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