The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
So apparently I’m into choking now
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
