vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
