we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
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