My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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