Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Randomize
