and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
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