I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Randomize