question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
I fill condoms, not promises.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
