I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
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