so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Randomize
