At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
