I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize