It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Randomize
