I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Randomize
