the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
When are your genitals available?
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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