I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
