fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
