I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
