nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
