she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
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