yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Randomize
