I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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