Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
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