Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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