at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
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