she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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