I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
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