eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
