...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
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