He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
