I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
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