On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize