Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
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