did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
