Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
that's an acceptable place to lick
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
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