benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Randomize