I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
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