I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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