FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
