I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
My cat gives me a boner
only you would photoshop your dick
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
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