just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize
