drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
