I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
