Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
did i walk over a car last night?
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
