i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
