so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
